I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
