Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
