Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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