Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
