Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
