This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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