so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is Oprah even human
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize