it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
