I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
