After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If that was your dad, he is hot
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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