she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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