My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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