They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
