At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
