I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
