i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
there is glitter all over my balls
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