Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
