i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
where does the pee come out of this thing
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
why is half of my head shaved?
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