you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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