SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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