32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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