Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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