You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
