I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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