i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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