I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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