It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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