I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
