The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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