then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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