did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
