what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
