so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she looked like the before picture.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
