so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
