I am full of burrito and curiosity
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
