Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
