ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
