I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
