She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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