i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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