I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
