woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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