you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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