no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
