Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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