You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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