he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
