Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
