Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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