I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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